Modern-day media has an obsession with sex. Everywhere you look it’s “10 Ways to Have Better Sex,” “Sexiest Man Alive” and “Sexiest Scenes in the New ‘Magic Mike’ movie.” On TikTok, people are swapping tales from their worst hookups, and the comments are endless.

It’s on everyone’s mind, even if we like to pretend otherwise. 

It’s on my mind when I’m sitting in law class at 12:30 p.m. on a Monday. And when I’m dancing at Barflyy on a Saturday night. It’s on my mind when I’ve been in the barren wasteland that is my hometown for too long, and I start to think, “Do I miss Kent?”

No. I’m just missing my favorite coping mechanism. 

As someone who was raised in the church and had to experience the horrors of an abstinence-based public school health class, I am shocked to be saying that. But as a Black, queer, trans person in their 20s, I can not help but feel a little proud. 

Sex is the solution to all of my problems – boredom, gender dysphoria, seasonal depression, breakups, long days, general horniness, etc. The rush of emotions that all comes from is enough to cure what ails me, and science stands behind it. 

Can’t sleep? Well, sex can help you sleep better. When you have sex your brain floods with dopamine, endorphins and prolactin, and there is a decrease in the stress hormone, cortisol,  –  the perfect recipe to help release stress and ensure a good night’s rest. 

Not great at public speaking? Struggling to express your emotions? Sex can help build self-esteem and is a chance to practice those communication skills – nothing is sexier than someone who knows what they want and asks for it. If you can communicate your sexual needs, what’s stopping you from asking your boss for a raise or asking your partner for more emotional support?

Sex is also a great way to get over breakups. Sometimes your brain needs a little distraction. Your therapist might disagree, but you can talk about that in your next session. In my book, as long as all parties involved have come to an agreement about their intentions, there’s no reason not to become friends with benefits. 

As a trans person, sex, or more so solo sex, has served as an affirming experience in my journey with my gender. When I’m experiencing gender dysphoria, a little alone time can help shift my focus and make me feel good in the body that I am in. And when it comes to partnered sex, having sex with another trans person brings a level of understanding and intimacy that I wouldn’t otherwise experience. 

And the list goes on and on and on. I can not possibly name them all, but I’ll leave you with a reminder that when you are sexually active, get tested for STDs often, use protection and establish consent!

Reegan Saunders is opinion editor. Contact them at [email protected].