You and your partner may speak the same language literally, but what about the love languages you each speak? It’s likely you speak different ones. 

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I highly recommend you go take a quiz online that will reveal what your love language is — and what it isn’t. The options are: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving or acts of service. 

It’s important to know love languages are not only how you express love, but how you like to receive it, as well. It’s not enough to know your own love language — you have to take the time to learn your partner’s as well. If they don’t already know theirs, have them take the quiz too!

What feels like such a small piece of information can completely change the way you each approach your relationship. 

“Speaking” a love language that isn’t your own can be tricky, but essential, if you want your relationship to ultimately last. I’ll give you an example.

Say your top love language is words of affirmation. Your partner’s top love language is physical touch. Your partner may think that they are providing you reassurance and love by rubbing your shoulders, scratching your back, or…other physical things. However, since your love language is words of affirmation, you may feel more loved and appreciated when they say things like “I feel so lucky to have you,” or “I’ll always be here for you.”  

Feeling like your needs aren’t being met in a relationship is one quick way for said relationship to end. Almost everyone can agree that in relationships, sometimes you need to make compromises.

Using the same example, you and your partner could find compromises by rubbing their shoulders while they tell you how much they appreciate it. Or, if you hate receiving gifts but your partner loves giving them, turn the tables and get them a surprise gift!

Your partner’s love language is quality time but yours is acts of service? Spend time together by helping your partner get stuff done. Making a conscious effort to meet your partner’s desires will go a long way in your short- and long-term relationship.

You might have to get creative, but that’s the whole point. Relationships require effort, and if you aren’t willing to put in the effort to truly make your partner feel loved well then, maybe it’s time to reevaluate. 

Cassidy Gladieux is a campus editor. Contact her at [email protected].