“God loves you, but not enough to save you.” This is the Gospel according to new alternative singer-songwriter Ethel Cain.

Remember her name because she’s here to stay. And like the followers of Jesus who clung to his every word, Cain preaches her own religion to the lost, confused and broken souls who’ve been stranded along the way.

Ethel Cain is the alter ego of everyone who’s grown up struggling with the idea of religion, God and life itself.

Also known as Hayden Silas Anhedönia in her personal life, Cain is a 24-year-old singer-songwriter from Florida who has been releasing music since 2017. The main standout of Cain’s discography is her latest album titled “Preacher’s Daughter,” where she truly makes a name for herself. For some context to make the album’s title even more significant, Cain is actually the daughter of a preacher.

With a religious upbringing, Cain struggled with her religious beliefs and identity, especially with a preacher for a father. The album tells a haunting story being told by Cain. In order of the songs, there’s a dramatic sequence of events that happens to Cain throughout the 13-track album.

The fateful yet beautifully tragic album details a young preacher’s daughter running away from home, trying to figure out a life for herself, where she then meets an older lover who eventually kills and cannibalizes her. You read that right, cannibalizes her. Cain then sings about her fears and regrets beyond the grave in the last part of the album. It’s a bizarre tale to tell, but it is done so effortlessly, beautifully and tastefully.

I can write all about every single track on the album and my opinion of them, but this article would be far too long. So, instead, I will talk about the standouts of the album, in my opinion, and why this album is now one of my all-time favorites and has had such an emotional impact on me as a 20-year-old still finding my own special path in life.

Track two, “American Teenager,” was the first one to catch my attention, as it is the single on “Preacher’s Daughter.” Cain highlights the turmoil and frustrations of growing up in America with the pressures of the society we grew into and the classic American dream we were all born to strive for. It is my new national anthem and should be everyone else’s too.

“Growing up I was surrounded by visions of Nascar, rock’n’roll, and being the one who would change everything,” Cain told Stereogum. “They make you think it’s all achievable and that if nothing else, you should at least die trying. What they don’t tell you is that you need your neighbor more than your country needs you. I wrote this song as an expression of my frustration with all the things the “American Teenager” is supposed to be but never had any real chance of becoming.”

We all give into this so-called “American dream.” The romanticized version of growing into adulthood, working a 9-5 and mortgaging a 3-bedroom house with a picket fence with a cute golden retriever who you pretend doesn’t cause you more problems than necessary. Cain doesn’t sugarcoat this warped perception of what we are expected to become, though.

People die in this messed up system we call America. People are homeless and hungry in this system we call America. Cain plays on this pain in “American Teenager.”

The upbeat and ethereal anthem gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it. In fact, this whole album never fails to give me the chills, regardless of how many times I’ve heard it.

A very opposite track on this album compared to “American Teenager” is the track, “Ptolemaea.” When I first listened to this song, I felt haunted to my core. Sitting in my dark bedroom with my noise-canceling headphones, my body tensed up as the song went on. It’s rare for a song to send chills down my spine in such a haunting manner, but this one did the trick. The eerie, dark voice echoing throughout the song, along with shrilling and desperate screams from Cain, is what sets this song apart from every other track on the album. I think “Ptolemaea” is a perfect example of the tone being set in “Preacher’s Daughter”: sinister, yet cathartic.

My personal favorite off the album, and possibly my favorite song ever, is “Sun Bleached Flies.” The seven-minute and thirty-second song sent tears streaming down my face just a mere two minutes in. With this gospel-like ballad being so vulnerable and shocking, Cain leaves out no detail of feeling abandoned by God and the world around her.

“God loves you, but not enough to save you,”

This is the line; the line that says it all.

Cain sings this with backtracks of her vocals, replicating the bone-chilling harmonies of a church choir.

You’re being told a story here, a journey of self-reflection and coming to terms with the cards she’s been dealt.

The song comes to a climax as she repetitively sings,

“If it’s meant to be then it will be

So I met him there and told him I believe

Singing, If it’s meant to be then it will be

I forgive it all as it comes back to me”

My family was extremely religious. I went to a private Catholic school for 15 years and attended church every Sunday. I thought I knew everything, but after my dad was killed in a car accident, everything I knew about life, God and religion went out the window.

I struggled to find God after that. I began forming my own beliefs, most of which went against what I had been previously taught for 15 years. After listening to “Preacher’s Daughter,” I felt understood. Begging for someone out there, some big spiritual guy in the sky to help me.

One thing Cain makes clear throughout her confusion about others and the world is that at the end of the day, we have ourselves, and that might be all we need. Finding God in a gas station bathroom on the way to a new life with new beginnings, or maybe endings.

Grace Clarke is an opinion writer. Contact her at [email protected].