OPINION: Stolen innocence: the faces of sexual assault
May 8, 2023
Editor’s Note: The following article contains discussions of sexual violence and assault.
Chloe Wilson-Henline, one of the survivors featured in this article, serves as an opinion writer for The Kent Stater and KentWired. Given her role and relationship to the story, KentWired interviewed her as a source.
Faceless, nameless, hopeless. This is the usual narrative when it comes to sexual assault.
Facing accusations of lying or feeling too ashamed, it can be extremely difficult for a survivor of sexual assault to speak up, let alone come to terms with their new reality. Their innocence is crushed by the touch of their perpetrator. It could be a stranger, a close friend, a significant other – even a family member.
Regardless of the identity of the perpetrator one thing is certain: sexual assault happens everywhere, to anyone at any time and the severity of sexual assault will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network reports that every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. However, many assaults fall under the radar. As RAINN reports, only 25 out of every 1,000 perpetrators are arrested and reprimanded.
Twenty-five out of 1000. It’s hard not to feel hopeless reading these numbers.
Sexual assault is an especially scrutinized topic on college campuses, since it’s more common that it is seen as some kind of nasty rumor rather than a life-changing and traumatizing event. When a student reports that they were sexually assaulted by another student on campus, it becomes the talk of the town, and therefore many choose to avoid being this center of attention, talked about or looked down on. This results in a lack of reported cases.
When conducting a survey on Instagram, I asked a simple question to my 1,249 followers, “Have you been a survivor or known a survivor of sexual assault while being in college?” Of the 99 responses collected within 24 hours, 81% of students answered yes; the remaining 18% said they have not been a survivor nor know anyone who is.
It is hard to refute the numbers: sexual assault on college campuses is more common than not.
Talking about one’s personal experience with sexual assault can be extremely emotional, upsetting and uncomfortable. Instead of bringing up a survivor’s actual experience, the more important question to ask is, what impact has it made on their life?
Going to the store to run some errands alone sounds like an easy task to a lot of people, but survivor Moira Steinmetz, 21, said she finds it unsettling, especially at night. She doesn’t know what could happen to her or who is waiting or watching. Something so simple becomes a daunting task.
“It’s not always just strangers,” she said. “It can be someone you know which makes it even scarier to speak out.”
Kent State students Logan Diener, 20, and Chloe Wilson-Henline, 21, said they became more self-aware after their experiences. They began to look at themselves differently and soon realized how the impact of their own personal experiences made them become hypersexual. Finding themselves engaging with more sexual partners, it became a new normal to focus on sex rather than the emotional aspect of a relationship. They felt as though their bodies were the only thing worthy of giving and began to settle for less.
“Something you think is so minuscule turns into something bigger,” said Diener. “It started to affect everything in my life.”
With similar coping mechanisms to Diener, Wilson-Henline finds it hard to explain.
“You really won’t understand it until it happens to you,” she said.
Jane Willens, a licensed clinical social worker and trauma specialist at the UCLA Rape Treatment Center, has been helping victims of sexual assault for decades now.
“I always emphasize that no matter how many decades have passed since their sexual assault or trauma, it’s never too late to seek mental health treatment,” Willens said. “It’s common to see intense emotions such as guilt, self-blame and shame. There is often underlying anxiety, anger and depression. The assault also impacts the ability to trust oneself and others, particularly if the assailant was a known acquaintance.”
Questioning your emotions and feelings is natural, but Kent State student and survivor Finn Mroz-Roakes, 21, said he couldn’t even begin to comprehend what happened to him.
“The scariest part for me was that it took me over five years to figure out what happened to me was sexual assault,” he said. “I can’t even begin to imagine how many more people are out there with this suppressed trauma — they don’t even realize it yet. That’s what’s terrifying.”
Even in 2023, it can still be a taboo topic when a male speaks up about sexual assault. When someone thinks of sexual assault, we have it ingrained in the culture to picture a woman as the victim. Sexual assault does not discriminate against any race or gender. One out of 25 victims of sexual assault is against a man, and they experience the same kind of grief, shame and fear as anyone else who experiences sexual assault.
Privileges like going to the store, walking alone at night, having sex and talking about one’s feelings come easy to many people as they sometimes do not recognize the trauma that comes with being a survivor of sexual assault. These tasks should all be natural and worry-free, not detrimental to someone’s mental health and well-being.
The website for Erie County of Ohio’s victim resources page goes more into detail about how it is common for those seemingly normal tasks to become daunting:
“The emotional reaction to sexual assault is complex and often confusing. Survivors should remember that their feelings and experiences are not abnormal and that they are not alone … The fear and confusion will lessen with time, but the trauma may disrupt the survivor’s life for a while.”
Survivors heal in different ways, but in interviews, they all wanted to make one thing clear: They desire to be understood and heard even by people who have not experienced sexual assault.
Kent State student and survivor Kathrine Musselman, 21, talks about the healing process, as it was not an easy one. It has taken years.
“My sexual assault broke me … it took me a while to really be okay again,” she said. “I was eventually able to heal because I know now I’m not a victim — I am a survivor.”
I gathered seven other survivors’ testimonials and photos – but edited them out of this piece at their request. It is evident that many students are weary to speak out when they are impacted by sexual assault. Whether it’s because they don’t want people to know, their family members do not know or the fear of being called a liar — I will keep these survivors anonymous, but I need to make this known: they are just as brave as anyone else.
Survivors of sexual assault continue to exhibit perseverance and strength, even when at times it feels easier to give up the fight. These survivors are not defined by their sexual assault — they are so much more than an experience they had no control over. Their stories and voices will not be silenced. These are their faces:
I wrote this piece to show victims and non-victims that sexual assault will not be taken lightly, and that there is support out there. For support, please visit https://www.nsvrc.org/ or call the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673.
Grace Clarke is an opinion writer. Contact her at [email protected].
