You never think you’re going to get older until it happens to you. 

I realized it had happened to me when I asked someone what “rizz” meant. 

While I still have a lot of life left to live, the ticking sounds of the clock have only gotten louder as each year passes. 

I used to be a child wondering what I would be like as a teenager, and now I’m nearing the end of my final semester of college. I don’t feel like I’ve changed much, but my Snapchat memories tell me the opposite. I wish I could say I welcomed adulthood with open arms, but the fact I’m only going to get older terrifies me. 

Women have a lot of anxiety around aging, and it’s because our culture is obsessed with youth. 

You could turn on your TV and sit through a dozen commercials advertising anti-aging products. You could walk through the store and find low-calorie snacks and hair sprays for graying roots. You could open TikTok and get free preventative skin care and Botox consultations from dermatologists and plastic surgeons. 

Products advertised to women promise eternal youth because we lose value in society the older we get. 

These messages become loud and clear through the media we consume. There are few shows geared at college-aged adults, but every month it feels like a new teen drama has hit streaming services. There’s a trend in Hollywood where female actors are relegated to “mom” roles when they can’t pass for a teen anymore. Then, there’s the underrepresentation of women over 50 in film and television roles. 

I never pictured myself as an adult when I was younger because the media rarely shows us adult women. However, the women we do see are getting married, having children and becoming grandparents. How do the women who feel like they aren’t ready for those milestones or the women who don’t want those milestones factor into society? 

Then there’s youth being associated with beauty. Since beauty is an intrinsic part of a woman’s value, there is an obsessed need to hold onto it. We are told weight gain, wrinkles and gray hair are visual indicators of being past your “prime.” Once we cross that threshold, we no longer have access to the privileges that accompany youth and beauty. 

A way for all of us to let go of the shackles of youth is to accept we are going to age and know it is okay to do so. 

We should tell women it is normal for their bodies to look different than it did when they were 16. We should tell women no matter how many preventative products you purchase, your age will always increase each year. Finally, we should tell them women are much bigger than their youthful selves.

Faith Fistler is an opinion writer. Contact her at [email protected].