Opinion: My issue with Tinder
November 11, 2015
Social media seems to be all anyone talks about, and rightly so. Apps are constantly evolving to give out information at a faster rate than before. With smartphones we have the whole world in our hands. By saying that, I mean we’re able to use social media to instantly access anything from current events to significant others.
Apps like Tinder expose us to endless profiles of potential partners. People argue this is an awesome opportunity, but there’s a negative effect to spending so much time looking down.
I believe Tinder takes away from genuine compatibility when we do find it. That’s because it allows us to force-feed our appetites for companionship.
The majority of today’s mingling happens behind a screen and it’s giving us more quantity, but less quality. We’ve become desensitized to people we find attractive because we’re exposed to so many all in one place. That perfect, one-of-a-kind person isn’t as incredible anymore because on Tinder, we can find all those attractive qualities in at least 20 people.
I understand why Tinder has become so popular. It’s exciting and convenient. Distance is no longer an issue because from the comfort of our own beds, we have the chance to build a relationship with someone from hundreds of miles away. It’s an incredible idea.
However, when you really think about it, Tinder is exactly like experiencing a place as big as New York City for the first time. There are so many potential connections flying past you that it’s almost impossible to genuinely get to know someone.
That can be really lonely, which is what Tinder claims to combat. I think it’s fun initially, but after a while Tinder loses its appeal. I don’t think it allows users to get real with one another.
Sure, you can message every day for a month, but there’s something about face-to-face conversation that has such substance. You really get to know someone when you see them react to you in person.
Online, we can portray ourselves however we want. We let the world see only what we want to share and have time to edit everything about our profiles and revise our lives. In real life dating scenarios, we’re vulnerable. We have to be appealing in our natural forms and put ourselves out there. Sometimes we have to deal with rejection on the spot.
Tinder is another element of the 2-D equivalent to this 3-D real world. It’s easy and less painful to sit behind a screen and say yes or no to strangers, but when you’re face-to-face with someone and you have to reject or be rejected, that’s hard.
With the advances in technology, we’ve grown to demand the easy way about things. We want to receive and give out information “right now.” We’re like that with companionship, too.
Tinder is appealing because we get what we want in the moment: someone whom we share a mutual attraction with. But healthy companionship isn’t supposed to be instantaneous like that. It’s something you need to build.
I think Tinder has the potential to be that, but as of right now it’s just another app we’re using to feed our incessant demand for “right now.”
Samantha Karam is an opinion writer for The Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].