Holiday singles

Patrick St. Pierre

There are certain holidays that seem as though they are designed to make single people feel crappy. The worst of all these holidays is most assuredly Valentine’s Day, but let’s not dismiss the holidays that are just around the corner or have just past. There are various reasons why these holidays suck for single people and they should not be discounted.

Christmas is one of those holidays where a single person mixed up with a little spiked eggnog can lead to devastating results. Late into the Christmas party, after you’ve had a few drinks, you look across the room at your coworker, and you, in a drunken haze, justify sleeping with him or her to avoid the loneliness that comes with being alone during these cold, cold nights. Let’s not forget that the mistletoe has you kissing people well into the night, and this acts as either a false hope, or it introduces you to people that need lessons on kissing (The latter you might just give as matter of social service).

New Year’s Day is a holiday where they throw out the mistletoe, but instead, they instruct everyone to kiss someone at 12:00:01. This leaves the single people looking around the room at all the lip-locked couples, and then wondering why they didn’t just bring a friend to kiss, just so they don’t feel like a fool. Then, of course, they feel like a fool for even considering that alternative.

Furthermore, Sweetest Day is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. It is a ploy created by chocolate and flower companies to earn more revenue. I mean, they invented a second Valentine’s Day. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

I will say that if you’re in a relationship, holidays are wonderful. There really isn’t a better time to be in a relationship, but accordingly, there really isn’t a worse time to be single. There are definite benefits to being single, but even freedom loses its luster during those days. Luckily, there is still time to find somebody before Christmas. If you are single during those days, however, don’t feel too bad about the potential mistakes you’ll make. You are not alone in them.

Patrick St. Pierre is a senior English and psychology major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected].