1. Use a tanning bed — if you’re willing to pay Obama’s new tanning tax — plus, leather is sexy.

2. Color skin with a beige marker — avoid sweating and swimming if you use the washable kind.

3. Take tanning pills — yes, they really exist.

4. Always leave your sunroof open while driving — you’ll get a nice forehead/upper arm tan.

5. Apply self-tanning lotion to your body — watch out for those fingerprint marks.

6. Obtain a tan bodysuit — could get a little sweaty in there.

7. Brave the cold and lay out outside — have the hospital on speed dial.

8. Eat lots of carrots — if you want a more orange-colored glow.

9. Wear white head-to-toe — after one through eight, it will help in showing off all your hard work.

10. Keep the lights off — no one will be able to see your skin color.

Contact Kelsey Misbrener at [email protected].