BFF? Not when wedding bells are involved

Shelley Blundell

Speak to most women about hearing someone they know is getting married, and they’ll be mostly upbeat and positive.

But speak to them about their best friend getting married, and it’s a whole different ball game.

To unmarried women like me, hearing that someone you “sort of know” is getting married is not that big of a deal. But when your best friend tells you she’s tying the knot, it feels like the knot they’re tying is around your neck.

So imagine my chagrin when not one, but three of my friends, including my best friend, announced their engagements over the last four months.

To make matters worse, two more friends have gotten married – in the same four months.

However, the proverbial knife in the cake was a simple, three-word text message I received late last Tuesday afternoon from my friend Jen: “I got married.”

At first, I laughed, thinking “sure, Jen the commitment-phobe just got married to her boyfriend of less than a year – who’s she fooling?”

So I called her, and she confirmed she was indeed married.

It appeared the only fool was me.

While I am truly happy for all my friends who have chosen to “take the plunge,” albeit rather suddenly in Jen’s case, I can’t help but feel a little bit angry.

Yes, you read right, I said angry.

I know what you’re thinking: Oh, poor little Shelley feels like she’s going to be relegated to “Old Maid” status and live a perpetual existence as the third wheel.

But that’s not it at all.

Speak to most women about their best friend getting married, and I’ll bet many of them (who are being honest with themselves) will tell you they’re a little bit angry, because in a way, it’s like we’re being replaced.

In August of 2006, Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist Beni Dakar wrote “when someone becomes seriously involved in a romantic relationship or gets married, many people who were once central to that person’s life are displaced.”

Like the best friend.

If you are fortunate enough to have a best friend, think about all the things you love about that person, all the memories you share together, the inside jokes that only the two of you will ever understand. But most of all, they are the ones you turn to, for better or worse.

Until one of you gets married.

Your “best friend” becomes your significant other. Suddenly, he or she is the one you can’t wait to tell how great your day was, or share some tidbit of life with. The significant other also becomes the person you will confide in from now on.

While I don’t begrudge my friends this impending happiness, it does leave me with a sense of longing for what once was. But, as they say, you can’t stop progress.

I am making one request, though, to my remaining “single” friends: no more marriage in 2007 – I’m running out of wedding gift ideas!

And to Jessica, my best friend, my confidante and my partner in crime: No matter what happens, second place is better than no place at all.

Congratulations to all of you on your upcoming vows. I’ll be wishing you well, from the unmarried table.

Shelley Blundell is a history graduate, senior magazine journalism major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].