In the spirit of trailblazer Carrie Bradshaw and after countless requests from friends, I dedicate this column to the confusion of the male sex. Instead of the typical personal rant of past bad experiences or the dramatic things a lot of girls like to complain about, I decided to do some field work and gather information from fellow women. The general consensus was the same lines are spouted, time and time again, by nerds, players and genuine catches alike. Common lines that are guaranteed to confuse girls include:

• “I really like you, but I don’t want a girlfriend / The timing’s not right.” – I cannot tell you how many guys have said this to really great girls I know. I wish I knew what they were thinking. Maybe they are scared and want to play the field, or maybe they don’t want to be vulnerable or just don’t really like the girl. Whether guys mean for them to or not, girls take this as “I don’t really like you that much.”

• “I’m afraid it might not work out / I don’t want to hurt you.” – Guys often give this one after a few weeks or months of messing around, ignoring you, messing around, and then the girl has to end up looking like a psycho and asks, “What’s going on with us here?” This classic sabotage of a relationship before it starts is especially bothersome. Perhaps the real reason is the guy is afraid it WILL work out, and he may have difficulty dealing with a real relationship. Things can work out if you let them. Girls don’t know what to make of this line that leaves them hanging. As far as the “I don’t want to hurt you” part goes, most girls pointed out not even trying to date hurts the girl even more than eventually possibly being dumped would.

• The ever so infamous, “Let’s be friends.” – A real problem for all. It often replaces an actual reason for departure. People – men and women – need to clarify what this ambiguous sentence means and why the change from lovers to friends.

• “I like (SOME OTHER GIRL) too, but I really like you.” – Girls don’t know what to do with this information. Most appreciate the honesty, but what are they supposed to do? Wait around while the guy figures thing out? Most of the time, girls want a specific guy. Unfortunately, they don’t have the “move on to someone new” or the “like/date five people at a time” mechanism as down as men do.

So, guys send confusing messages – let go of it, girls. Don’t sit around and be bitter. And guys, try to be clearer communicators and give love a chance: Ask a girl out. Though men and women’s brains work differently, we really aren’t that different.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, approach love/liking/lust/hook-ups with an open mind. Life’s too short to sit around and watch “Sex and the City” reruns with your girlfriends. You should be cuddled up in your itty bitty dorm bed with a nice guy, or sharing an umbrella with the cutie from your class. ‘Tis the season, after all.

Allison Pritchard is a junior electronic media production major and a humor columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].