COLUMN: Students, get in touch with your ‘place’ and yourself

Allison Pritchard

When I arrived at Kent State my freshman year, I expected to be hounded by fellow students’ pleas for me to drink cheap beer at frat parties, get on hot men and wear flip-flops in the shower.

One thing I never expected as part of my $7,000-a-semester Kent State curriculum was guidelines on how to successfully masturbate.

Yes, you heard me right.

A couple months into my “First Year Experience” in Humphrey Hall, my neighbors shockingly replied to my naivety, “You’ve never fingered yourself?”

For many students, both male and female, college is a time to explore one’s sexuality. Having lock and key access to one’s very own “place” (and virtually unlimited same-age potential partners), makes college a gold mine for those who want to play tennis with a partner or those who prefer the solo touch. I can think of one nightly activity that can put any stressed out co-ed right to sleep, despite the stress of freshman LER exams.

Before some people open their minds to the pleasure of exploring the unknown jungles of the tropical south, they may consider masturbation abnormal or shameful. I’m pleased to see that today many people realize it’s a totally natural act.

According to my human sexuality textbook, a 19th century health reformer named Sylvester Graham advocated that people subscribe to the “Graham” diet (which included Graham crackers and Graham flour) and refrain from sex to stay healthy. John Harvey Kellogg, a follower of Graham’s, was the inventor of a cereal that was said to reduce masturbation: Kellogg’s Cornflakes.

I’m sure everyone’s heard of the recent news stories that claim a few hundred orgasms a year is good for your health. If you don’t have a significant – or heck, even insignificant – other to partake in festivities with, no worries. Be aware that there’s a safe alternative to banging the next random guy you see and getting an unnamed STI.

In fact, most of my female friends have invested in a small stock of fun toys for the bedroom. A friend from my hometown told me how she made a clay replica of her man’s member to enjoy when he’s not around, and another friend is saving up for the acclaimed whirling, twisting, twirling Rabbit from “Sex & the City.” Almost all the girls I know have something hiding in their closet. Hell, there’s even a Facebook group called “I’ve got a vibrator, and I’m damn proud!”

My friend told me about a close encounter she had while enjoying a “massager” at her computer desk during some “MILF Hunter” entertainment in her University of Eastern Kentucky dorm room. She luckily just put her toy away (and pulled her pants up) only seconds before her roommate unlocked the door and came back from class. Close call on that one!

Moral of the study: Lots of males and females masturbate. It’s not just guys whacking off in the shower – it’s the girl next door using her Mr. Vibie while her roommate is at her night class. Self-exploration is all part of the college experience. If you’re exploring everything else in this world, you might as well explore yourself.

Allison Pritchard is a junior electronic media production major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].