A blaring alarm sounds at 6:20 a.m. in a household of three. A mother begins her day by waking up her two young children. With some pushback, the three of them each get ready for school.
After two long hours of getting her children dressed, making breakfast, packing their lunch and walking them to the bus, Becca Baker, a nursing major who came back to school after getting an engineering degree years ago, can finally begin her school day.
Though they may not feel like it, most students are lucky to experience college with no extra responsibilities, like a child. Student moms have to find the difficult balance between their student life, and mom life.
As a single mother, Baker has to balance taking care of two boys, Josh (11) and Elliot (8). Her oldest son Josh has autism, which sparked her decision to go back to school.
“One of the reasons why I’m going back to school is because I want to help kids like him,” Baker said. “I think a lot of them still slip through the cracks and I want to be part of something that helps change that.”
The most important thing for Baker is being there for her kids during their developmental years.
“A lot of it comes down to me making choices about what’s the most important thing,” Baker said. “It’s me being there when they want to talk, when they have questions about things and need help.”
In many ways, Baker has to be flexible. She works around her children’s school schedule, getting important tasks like chores and schoolwork done while they are away.
“I am a hot mess, I fly by the seat of my pants a lot of the time,” Baker said. “I have to have flexibility, I have to do stuff at weird hours, really weird hours.”
Alex Bassler, sophomore nursing major, has two kids as well, a 4-year-old daughter and an 18-month-old son.
Her goal is to work as a nurse in a school or the children’s emergency department of labor and delivery to balance her love for children and for nursing. However, Bassler said she doesn’t always have the time and space she needs to devote to school.
“It becomes an act of what will I miss out on today to ensure a better tomorrow?” Bassler said. “Do I miss playing or doing crafts, or do I completely fail the test later in the week?”
Both moms said they have open and honest conversations with professors about either having to miss class or take their kids with them.
Baker has explained to them that she’s trying to restart her life and cannot afford childcare. So far, most professors have been understanding, but she knows it’s not a guarantee.
“One time I took them with me to a couple classes and they actually found it kind of interesting,” Baker said.
Bassler has also been lucky to have understanding professors when there is no other option than taking her children with her.
“I was lucky enough to have a professor allow me to bring my son in on a one-on-one tutor meeting because I couldn’t leave him home alone,” Bassler said. “That’s a big ask for professors and obviously not possible every time.”
Both Baker and Bassler said the most rewarding part about being a student while taking care of their children is showing them how they’ve been able to persevere when things get hard.
“I think it’s good for kids to see someone fighting for their life in a way where they refuse to give up,” Baker said. “They see me getting excited about learning new things, and I think that makes them care about education in a way too.”
Baker has seen her kids accelerate in school, and said she enjoys classes herself because she is constantly learning new things.
“Your brain doesn’t just stop working, in some ways I think you crave it,” Baker said. “When you get older you get in the mundane … you can still learn, you can still expand your mind, you can still change.”
Although being a student mom can be rewarding, that does not take away from the challenging parts. Bassler said it is not recognized enough how difficult balancing everything can be, and it is important as a mom to take time for herself.
“Do your nails, read part of a book, lock yourself in the bathroom with candy if you have to,” Bassler said. “Step back and breathe, you got this, you wouldn’t have made it this far if you weren’t capable of finishing.”
Savana Capp is Print Planner. Contact her at [email protected].