Opinion: Halloween, no. Just No

Zachary Downes

This is probably a bit early, but it is the month of October, and this can be advice for the entire month. However, what I am about to say is pertinent information that could be used for any weekend.

Kent Halloween is one of the major party weekends of the year. People come from far and wide to drink cheap beer in skimpy cop costumes on College Avenue. It is a great time, but can get rather interesting and dangerous. In my opinion, Kent Halloween is the most annoying party weekend that exists.

But, I just want everyone to be reminded to dress accordingly to the weather. A prime example is seeing the skimpy cop walk down University Drive saying: “Durrrr why am I cold? It’s only the end of October in Northeast Ohio, where it stops being warm in August, and I’m wearing spandex as shorts.”

Costume originality is key to this weekend, but so is dressing warm. Getting pneumonia is not fun. Going to the hospital is not fun. Seeing people dressed in minimal clothing during one of the coldest months of the year, in Ohio, is not cute. Some costumes should just be retired.

Here are some examples:

Please refrain from being a bee. It is unoriginal and tacky. One reason for this is because bees are usually dead or hibernating during the month of October, so the bee costume should not be a thing during the fall.

Being a cop also falls under the unoriginal and tacky category. Last year, I walked around downtown and counted 20 people dressed as cops. Some people even went as far as dressing up as a swat team member. Hats off to those people who at least dressed warmly. But to the girls who think it’s cute to handcuff themselves to random boys, please stop.

Here is a throwback to the early ’90s: Mario and Luigi. Now this costume could be for any gender, but it should be thrown into the vault of bad costumes. I’d like to reiterate that there are no goomba troopers in the Kent State of America. If you’re going to be Mario and Luigi, please remember that you actually did not dress up as Kirby, so sucking down your 40 ounces of Colson and passing out in the front yard of a frat house means you are out of your element. You totally lost, Princess Peach. Game over. You have to reset the Nintendo now. Please go home. Toad is mad.

The final costume to avoid is straight from 2013. Yes, I’m talking Miley. Unless you jump the fence at the construction on South Lincoln, you did not come in like wrecking ball. Also, Miley Cyrus is a bit overdone. Although she is perfect in all of her craziness, it’s not a good choice of outfit.

That is all I have to say about Kent Halloween. Please remember to be safe and not get into trouble. Find sober friends if you can. Just stay safe.

Zachary Downes is an opinion columnist for The Kent Stater. Contact him at zdownes@kent.edu.