Dear Mel,

Why is it that I can’t seem to delete old texts from all of my past relationships in life?

                      — D.J.

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Dear D.J.,

    I know what you’re doing. Others are just as guilty, including myself, but that’s because it’s normal to want to hold on to something that once was. I’m going to assume you’re either talking about a past girlfriend or boyfriend — heck, you might even keep texts from old friends and love interests you met while out partying. It’s normal.

    But just know, deep down, it’s NOT healthy. You are hurting yourself by having to come across those texts in your phone and bringing up old feelings. Why put yourself through the running questions of “What if?” “What happened?” or “Is there a second chance?”

    No. Stop it. Now. If it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be and it will happen sometime down the road. An old text as simple as “Hey, what’s up?” isn’t doing anything except wasting space in your phone. It’s the same as the conversation you had with a best friend who you haven’t spoken to in a few years.

    It’s a really hard thing to do if you enjoy looking back at past memories, but to be honest, when’s the last time you really looked through all of those texts? Several months or even a year ago? Yeah, time to let go! If that girl or guy from that party four weeks ago still hasn’t called you, just forget about it.

    I recommend you delete all of those texts, phone calls and if you’re feeling extra adventurous — delete the contacts all together! You will feel much better, and I guarantee eventually you will stop thinking about this person and focus on other important aspects of life, such as when your next paycheck is coming in or what you’re eating for dinner tonight.

                  — XO, Mel