Nick Swardson: Born to be a (porn) star

Comedian Nick Swardson kept the audience on the edge of their seats in the M.A.C. Center in January, 2009. Photo by Rachel Kilroy.

Comedian Nick Swardson kept the audience on the edge of their seats in the M.A.C. Center in January, 2009. Photo by Rachel Kilroy.

Kelsey Misbrener

Comedian Nick Swardson, from the show “Reno 911” and the movie “30 Minutes or Less,” held a conference call to talk with a group of college reporters about the new movie he co-wrote and starred in called “Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star.” The movie opens Sept. 9.

Swardson on…

the idea behind Bucky Larson

“Adam Sandler thought of the idea. He’d been kicking it around for like a year or so, and then one day he called me up, and he goes, ‘Look, I can’t get this idea out of my head of this kid who finds out — he finds his parents in a porno and instead of being horrified he decides that’s his calling.’”

the raunch factor

“When you hear about the premise of the movie you think, ‘Oh, it’s just gonna be a lot of dick jokes and tits and stuff like that,’ but it’s actually a really sweet story about this kid trying to find his place in Hollywood, a place he doesn’t belong because he’s got a bowl cut, buck teeth and a small penis. At the core of the movie it’s this really sweet story about this kid’s journey.”

developing his Bucky Larson character

“I kind of more tapped into that innocence. Ya know, almost like where I grew up. Ya know, just that really kind of naïve almost like a 12-year-old kid who’s a virgin, who’s never even orgasmed before and just that naïveté and that Midwestern sensibility is what I kind of tapped into.”

Bucky’s accent

“I did add a Midwest accent to it. I’m from Minnesota. And I just felt a Midwest accent would be more disarming, ya know, the character is from Iowa but we kind of cheated it so it’s kind of a Fargo-esque accent.”

researching his role as a budding porn star

“I mean, you know obviously I’ve watched 100,000 hours of pornography, so it wasn’t like I had to crack open a safe of knowledge I didn’t already have. The thing about this movie was kind of, you know, having a character who doesn’t have any knowledge of the porn world. So instead of, like, researching a lot about it, my character was way more naïve you know and kind of clueless. So, I just went into every situation kind of having no idea what the f*** was going on.”

working with Adam Sandler

“I’ve worked with Adam for about eight years, and it’s great, man, it’s really great. I mean, Sandler is really, really creative. He works really hard. It’s not like a super party atmosphere where we’re, like, high all day and, you know, doing beer bongs and cannonballs into the pool.“

being like Bucky

“Bucky’s kind of the opposite of me in every respect. My teeth aren’t that big, my hair’s short, my penis is huge, my pubes are short, my balls are medium and I don’t own a sweater vest.”

Bucky affecting his own love life

“It’s gonna be huge for my love life, no pun intended. You know, Bucky’s penis is probably half of a skittle, so mine’s at least five skittles, so I’m gonna be in good shape there.”

his own preferable Porn Star name

“I would not choose Bucky Larson. I’d choose Meryl Streak.”

being in a fraternity if he went to college

“I’m sure I would’ve. I mean I live a frat lifestyle as it is right now so yeah I would’ve been all over it, I would’ve gone complete ape shit.”

whether or not size matters

“Yeah, I mean, it is kind of like a funny, you know, champion of guys that are really, really small. If you do have a violently small penis and you see this movie, you will feel better about yourself. And even if you have a very medium to small penis, you’ll feel like a stud. And if you have a huge penis, you’ll feel like an alien.”

why people should see his movie

“It’s funny, it’s different and it’s the weirdest romantic comedy you’ll ever see in your life.”

Contact Kelsey Misbrener at [email protected].