I’ll admit it: I am a bona fide, honest-to-God music critic. Sometimes I’ll hear a song or read a story with lyrics and ask myself “Wait, that’s not what this song means, is it?”

I know I’m not the only person who does this, so don’t worry. I’ve got you covered. I am here to track down your favorite songs and decode the lyrics for you, because hey. That’s what friends are for.

This week’s song is from a little band called Panic(!) At The Disco. Remember them from back in 2005? One of the things I can recall about P!ATD is that their song titles were…interesting. I mean, “Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off”? Good song, weird title. But, I digress. Today’s topic is not the aforementioned song, but another, titled “I Constantly Thank God For Esteban.”

At first listen, it seems like this song could be religious. But it’s Panic! At The Disco, so we may have to peel back some layers until you come up with…the infamous “scene.”

After it is pointed out, it seems clear that this song is about the popularity of this so-called “scene” and the musicians who endorse it. (“So gentlemen, if you’re gonna preach/ For God sakes preach with conviction”) It’s also even pointed out in the lyrics (if you take them seriously): “If this scene were a parish you’d all be condemned.”

So there you have it, folks. Have a suggestion for a song you’re dying to know the secret meaning behind? Comments are always welcome, or you can e-mail your suggestions to [email protected] with the subject “Song lyrics decoded.”