Simple tasks made too easy?

Samantha Worgull

Being in college is a reason in itself to be lazy in all aspects of life. The amount of class work you do as a student is like having a job. Sometimes, students probably wish they had a clone they could send to class, which some day, may be possible—thanks to science. But for now, students can purchase these products or use one of these services that have made Americans lives a little too easy.

Self-tying sneakers

Yes, someone has invented a pair. Inspired by the classic movie, “Back to the Future,” 1980s enthusiast, Blake Bevin, has designed and produced a pair of self-tying sneakers. He designed them using a pair of fluorescent colored Nike Air Jordans, and Nike has since acquired a patent for the sneaker. So how do they work? Surely those of you who hate bending over and taking 30 seconds to tie your shoe want to know. In order to avoid all that boring technical jargon, the bulk of what makes the shoe work is a pressure-sensitive pad in the heel. So don’t struggle to kick those shoes off, or break a nail trying to untie them, wait for these bad boys to hit the production line.

“I would totally buy a pair of sneakers that tied themselves,” said Melissa Scaglione, freshman business major. “It’d be cool if I never had to tie my shoes.”

Electric toothbrush

Okay, this invention is really old, but it sure does help when that 7:45 a.m. class rolls around and you don’t feel like moving your hand, especially not in a circular motion. Made popular in the last decade or so, electric toothbrushes have become available in most drug stores. You can even get your favorite cartoon character electric toothbrush, like Hello Kitty or Dora the Explorer. Of course, the child’s electric toothbrush will only brush one adult tooth at a time, unless you have unusually large teeth, then maybe only half a tooth.

Online food ordering service

As if a delivery service wasn’t easy enough, now pizza joints and other restaurants have made online ordering an even easier service. Don’t feel like talking to anyone? Just go to the website and check for the option. Some of these places you can also check the status of your food. This is perfect for cold season too. Don’t worry if you’re voiceless, just click away with your mouse.

“I wouldn’t say online ordering has made my life easier, but that it has given simple things like that more options,” said Alexander McElroy, junior English major. “We can still order by phone, but the option to order online is there so that’s nice.”

iRobot Roomba vacuum

Instead of shuffling through that utility closet, dragging out that big, bulky vacuum, finding a plug that allows the vacuum to reach all corners of the room and stressfully trying to vacuum the room, replace it with a Roomba. What is that weird sounding contraption? The Roomba is a vacuum that vacuums the floor all by itself. Better start saving now, it’s a hard one to afford as a college student, but this little gadget can clean the house when you’re too hung over.

Automatic remote car starter

Although most college campuses are littered with old, beat-up cars, occasionally there is that nice car that mommy or daddy bought their college student. Chances are that nice car may have an automatic remote car starter—or maybe even a button that starts the car inside. Either way, it doesn’t involve turning a key. No more fighting to fit the key into the ignition when it’s dark. Don’t feel like starting the car when you get in it? Start it from the doorway and make a cup of coffee while waiting for it to warm up—because you know that old wives tale: If you start driving when your engines too cold, it will blow up.

Hands-free soap dispenser

This may seem like an invention that would not benefit a college-aged student, however, it can come in handy when dealing with those often-wretched dorm bathrooms. It is also flu season, so avoiding sink handles and soap pumps that have germs on them is a good idea.

The clapper

Okay, now this one is just funny and old school, but in reality it does seem lazy. The clapper is a well-known device that allows you to clap in order for the lights to go on or off. And who can forget those catchy commercials: “Clap on, clap off. The clapper.”

The smart phone

Some may disagree with the idea of this gadget making lives easier, but think about it, you can do everything on that phone. There is virtually an application for everything these days. Hell, you can even speak to some of these phones and they perform tasks for you. It doesn’t get much easier than that.

“I’m on my iPhone more than I should be, and I use it more than just for phone calls,” said Jennah Sufayyan, freshman business major. “I shop on my iPhone and do lots of things on the internet.”

The Abtronic

This is quite possibly one of the most ridiculous pieces of exercise equipment on the market. To use the Abtronic Electronic Fitness System, simply rub a gel on your belly, wrap a belt around your waist and let the electronic stimulators go to work. Sound like a scam? That’s because it is. The “workout” involves standing there, or maybe even sitting on the couch. Next time you pull an all-nighter studying for that midterm, avoid buying this product from a TV infomercial. Sleep deprivation can cause hysteria—or at least that’s the only explanation as to why someone would think this works.

The Segway

Who needs walking? Not Segway owners. This invention makes walking obsolete. Just stand on the platform of the product and lean in different directions to make it move for you. And unlike other means of transportation, you do not need to pass a driver’s test to drive one.

Contact Samantha Worgull at

[email protected].