Communication is key for couples

Sara Williams

When Cupid draws back his bow and fires, it would be nice if tiny instruction manuals were attached to the arrow.

Junior zoology major Jessica Artl has been with her boyfriend for four months. He plays a lot of video games, she said, but that doesn’t bother her until it’s time to talk.

The hard thing, she said, is getting him to communicate.

“Sometimes it’s like pulling teeth,” Artl said.

Moore said lack of communication is a common problem.

“The women complain that when they go to (the man) for help he tries to solve the problem and she doesn’t feel supported,” he said.

Moore said the differences between genders are not insurmountable.

“Communicate clearly with significant others about what needs aren’t being met,” he said.

Jason Henkin, a senior at Lakeland Community College, said his girlfriend of four years seems upset much of the time.

“She gets pissed more, and it’s little things that piss her off,” Henkin said.

Michael Moore, assistant director of the Kent State Psychological Clinic, said he has found guys tend to look for a solution while women are more interested in support and listening.

“I’m one of the reasons his girl gets mad,” said Henkin’s best friend, Joel Black, a senior finance and conflict management major.

When Black and Henkin’s girlfriend both want to hang out with Henkin, trouble brews.

“It’s over pointless, retarded, idiotic things and it’s all the time,” Black said.

Black is single and loves it because he finds women too clingy, he said. He considers himself an independent person.

Assistant sociology professor Susan Roxburgh said men and women shouldn’t be looked at as if they are from different planets.

She said it can be destructive for women to chase feelings out of a man.

Mark Bartholet, a post-undergraduate student with a degree in math education, said he thinks it’s helpful that women are often more in touch with their emotions.

“Girls seem to do a better job of getting over breakups because they talk about their feelings,” he said.

While some guys do talk, a lot try to forget by partying or finding another girlfriend, Bartholet said.

Contact student life reporter Sara Williams at [email protected].