Sharing could save your life

Shelley Blundell

It has been said by more than one person that for everything there is a season. If this maxim is true, it would seem then that this is the season for ending relationships.

Over the past few weeks, in addition to celebrating the many engagements and marriages of friends, I have also had to help nurse friends whose relationships have ended. It seems odd that two such opposite events would occur in such relative proximity to each other, but such is the way of the world I guess.

And then my own relationship ended.

While I had been in relationships before, this one was especially hurtful, mainly because I had been led to believe I possibly had a future with this person. And then one day, he decided he wasn’t ready to settle down, and he felt that he could do “better.”

If you have a friend or a family member who is a journalist, I’m sure you know that at times they can be very emotional over anything — small or large. This quality makes them excellent listeners, as I’m sure some of you have discovered. But, in contrast, it also makes them bad “sharers,” especially when something life-altering happens.

Like the ending of a long-term relationship.

Some readers are asking themselves: “OK, big deal, why should I care?”

Here’s why: Because sharing is grossly underrated.

How many times in your life do you experience something that is so catastrophic to you that you think you may not be able to get through one hour, let alone a day, yet you keep it to yourself?

As we get older, your friends become your support network — they are the ones you share your joys with, and they are the ones who feel your heartache, no matter where it originates.

And if you have ever had a friend who has committed suicide, like I have, I’m sure you can appreciate why sometimes those who don’t want to share anything are the ones who need to share everything.

The point is that while sharing is rough, it’s an important part of your growth because when you share, you start to realize things you didn’t before.

For me, it was the realization that I am the one who can do better, and never again will I allow myself to become lost in a belief of what might be — the future I create will be my own, and no one else’s.

I leave you with this quote about relationships from Carrie Bradshaw, heroine of ultimate “girl talk” show “Sex and the City,” because really there is no more appropriate ending:

“There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

Shelley Blundell is a history graduate, a senior magazine journalism major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].