Will a real boyfriend please stand up?

Noelle Pennyman

Before my first year of college, I told myself that I would easily find a boyfriend, once I started school. Finding a mate among 30,000 students seemed inevitable.

To my surprise, dating in college is harder than people might think.

I’m speaking from a female’s point of view because I am in fact, a female, but I’m sure much of this applies to males also.

Obviously, finding a guy is the first step. As easy as it sounds, it can become a task if a person doesn’t have the time.

A person could meet someone among the activities they are involved in, but if a person has been involved in the group for some time, they become comfortable with the people in the group.

This will lead to either being in the “friend zone” or taking the “sister” role.

Once a person is in either of these situations, there is no turning back. He or she can never be seen as a dating prospect again by those of the opposite sex within the group. If a person chooses to be involved, they have just placed themselves in the discard pile by no fault of their own.

While being open-minded is key in finding a relationship, it seems on this campus, a person should have no standards at all.

To find a person with the same morals and values – or any morals and values at all – that coincide with his or hers seems impossible. Whether it is religious values, family values or abstinence, if it still exists, there are no two people, of dating potential, with the same morals on campus.

So if you’re a person with an IQ above 50 and have the basic humane values, you have no chance of having a healthy relationship. Once again, you are in the discard pile.

Once a person has gotten past that, he or she now has to sift through the person’s lies – and maybe double life – before you can move on.

I’m referring to the drug addicts, thieves, fathers, porn addicts, pedophiles and finally, the “down low” guys.

If somehow you don’t know what a “down low” guy is, let me educate you. This is a guy who claims to be straight but sleeps with other men. They will swear they are not gay. They won’t even wear condoms because they would be admitting they are sleeping with men.

One of the biggest barriers to starting a relationship is being in one. The common problem among my friends is as soon as they find a guy remotely dateable, he is in a relationship.

If a guy would still want to pursue a relationship with you, it should send up a red flag. The golden rule here is if he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you. Starting something, even a fling, with a guy who is taken is not getting your relationship to a good start.

Once a person has jumped through all of these rings of fire that could prevent a relationship, they are free to begin something with a guy or girl.

However, the next hurdle is still actually having the relationship and dealing with the baggage that you settled for in the first place.

Noelle Pennyman is a junior public relations major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].