The O.C.

Fox, Thursdays at 9 p.m.

Dear O.C.,

I feel so terrible about doing to this to you, but it’s not working for me anymore. I think it’s time we broke up. You gave me two great years and then everything started going to hell, and to be perfectly honest, I’ve been cheating on you for that third year when we were both going through the motions. That’s right, I’ve been seeing “One Tree Hill” behind your back.

I know, I know, you are mad at me for abandoning you just when you needed me the most. I get that you are up against “CSI” and “Grey’s Anatomy,” and you are getting a late start in the season so you have virtually no chance of survival, but let’s face it, you haven’t been treating me right for, like, ever. I can’t remember the last time I wanted to quote you, and I also can’t remember the last time I actually cared about anything that happened to any of your characters.

There were so many opportunities you had last season, but you acted on almost none of them. What’s with you killing off Marissa Cooper out of nowhere? I never liked her to begin with, but you didn’t give her character anything to do last year, so how am I supposed to care if she died in the season finale? You could have set up a triangle between her, Seth and Ryan (after all, Adam Brody and Mischa Barton had a surprising amount of chemistry whenever they shared the screen).

You could have had her just become the booze and drug queen you had been hinting that she would become for two years. But no, you had her hook up with trailer trash for half the season then die in a car accident when you could have just shipped her off on a boat for a few months to get a character makeover.

And now, you’ve got Seth and Summer leaving Orange County (you know, the title of the show) and keep making promises not to have the parents written out. Well, with Marissa dead, what does Julie Cooper have to do but brood? What do Sandy and Kirsten have to do except for fight, make up and (in Kirsten’s case) fall off the wagon?

I know you keep promising that things will get better, but remember last year when, at the end of almost every episode, you promised that I just HAD to watch the last five minutes of the next episode, and I wouldn’t be disappointed? And then nothing ever happened? I just can’t trust you anymore!

With that said, I’m done. Please go try to entice a younger generation by bringing back Marissa’s younger sister. I can’t look at you anymore.

Grey’s Anatomy

ABC, Thursdays at 9 p.m.

Hey hottie,

I know we’ve kept it pretty casual for the past two seasons, but I think it’s time that we made things official and started going steady. After all, those episodes we shared were always enjoyable and left me breathless.

I get that you are the coolest show on ABC right now, but I’m really hoping that you’ve still got time for me too. I actually created a name for all your fans last year, remember? Greyhounds!

I just heart so much about you, from your gorgeous, yet talented cast (though please do tone down on the McDreamy triangle, but feel free to keep naming characters after food from McDonalds, that’s funny) to your incredibly suspenseful scenarios. And you even got better last year, that two-parter with the bomb in the guy’s chest goes down as the best two hours of network TV last year in my book.

Anyway, enough sucking up. If Meredith picks you-know-who in the first few minutes of the season premier, I’ll take it as a sign that you want to go steady.

Contact ALL correspondent Robert Taylor at [email protected].