COLUMN: Kiddie crush is flattering, leaves lasting impression

Nedda Pourahmady

As I sat inside the luxurious living room filled with fellow Iranians, I watched him prance across the room. His dark brown hair, brown eyes and pearl-white skin caught my eye instantly. He had this playful look in his eyes that allowed his carefree personality to let loose. When my eyes met his, I wasn’t quite sure what was on his mind.

Standing 3 feet 2 inches tall, 3-year-old Armond walked up to me with an enthusiastic grin on his face. All I could think to myself was how incredibly adorable this toddler was, yet I didn’t realize in the back of my mind that Armond had different thoughts about me.

As I waited for my friends to arrive at the party, I figured that it would be fun to have a conversation with the little one. I told him to come over and began talking to him about how his day was going and if he was having a good time.

Every time I would ask him a question, Armond would give a quick response in broken English. He then began running around in circles, giggling furiously as his face flushed red. The more I observed him, the more I realized that this naive little fellow had all the symptoms of a crush – that is, on me.

I didn’t really know how to react in a situation like this, other than to muffle my laughter into the sleeve of my sweater. As the night progressed, Armond approached me more and more. He began to perform a sequence of actions, executing them with charm and style. I hate to say it, but this 3-year-old had more game than most of the college-aged guys I have dated.

The sequence was as follows: He would come up to me and give me the most angelic, adorable look. Armond would then tug at my sweater numerous times, and proceed by giving me compliments of how beautiful I looked. His direct words were, “You’re a girrrl!” and, “You look sooo bootiful!” Finally, he would complete his seduction strategy by gently caressing my arms and planting a big, wet kiss on my cheek.

I must admit that this whole scenario was cute in the beginning. Needless to say, I was flattered beyond belief that a young toddler actually looked up to me. However, the more wet, sloppy kisses came my way, the more aggravated I became. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was great that I was being admired, but I really do think that there is a fine line between admiration and obsession.

Armond went as far as busting out his detective skills by interrogating me about my boyfriend and how our relationship was going. Much to his dismay, I reported that we were happy together and everything was going well. Jealousy sent flames out of his ears, and his eyes were filled with rage.

How exactly did this furious 3-year-old react, you may ask? Well, once my friend entered the room, he left me in a heartbeat and approached her instead.

Girls: The next time you see an adorable 3-year-old prancing your way, do not be intimidated by his enthusiastic grin.

Nedda Pourahmady is a junior newspaper journalism major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].