What a summer it was!

We finally got rid of Sandra Day O’Connor, the Supreme Court justice famous for changing her political philosophy more often than an irrational sorority girl (sorry, that’s redundant).

Well, that’s it for good news.

Terrorists bombed London.

Supreme Court justices are one baby-step away from declaring the Constitution itself unconstitutional.

Peter Jennings died!

That one is personal. “World News Tonight” was the first nightly news I watched. Jennings will be remembered as one of the finest journalists of our time. Jennings was the first famous public figure to feed my interest in politics; however, straight news can only go so far.

My first political awakening occurred in 1996, my freshman year of high school. Channel surfing landed the TV on C-SPAN during the Natural Law Party convention. They had nominated Dr. John Hagelin, a physicist by trade.

The discovery of a new party was great enough. Knowing the candidate is a physicist, as I aspire to be, was euphoric. I made the irrational decision of hoping he would win despite complete ignorance of his platform.

Not until my senior year did I revisit that “most evil game” known as politics. The Sunday edition of The Cincinnati Enquirer placed Walter Williams’ column above the crossword puzzle, and I eventually decided to read it.

I don’t know how this led to watching Peter Jennings, but ever since then, I have hated politicians with a fiery passion which consumes my very being.

No!

First, I discovered Bill O’Reilly by channel surfing (he was mocking N’SYNC). Then, I hated politicians with a fiery passion which consumes my very soul (forgive my senility, a side effect of grad school).

At some point, The Enquirer printed one or two letters to the editor. Then I came here. I focused on physics. Until one day, my junior year, I read the Daily Kent Stater. Something (my senility again) really pissed me off!

I wrote a letter to the editor complaining. Then, the Daily Kent Stater pissed me off again. For two and a half years I wrote so many letters to the editor that [email protected] had a special folder just for me!

In order to get me off their backs, the wonderful people here at the Daily Kent Stater have given me a place in which I am free to start my own dialogue, and not respond to theirs.

The moral of the story is that ideas are no good unless you can hijack public space and shove those ideas down other people’s respective throats. It is a fine art, requiring much practice. If you have a fully functioning brain, you’re already 70 percent there.

As you grow to despise me throughout the semester, I must insist that you never call me a conservative! I am a South Park Conservative.

Don’t be confused. South Park Conservatives aren’t really conservative. We agree with the Libertarian Party except on some foreign affairs and national security issues (e.g., border security).

Never call me a liberal, either! Not that you ever will, I’m just trying to be fair.

Don Norvell is a physics graduate assistant and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected].