Web Only Point/Counterpoint pt2

Sarah Baldwin

Good things are worth waiting for

Sex is one of the few topics in life that interests nearly everyone. It is something that touches a nerve with most people, whether they are a college student or a senior citizen.

(Sex, for the purpose of this column, is defined as activities between two people that go beyond hand-holding, hugging and kissing, which are intended to result in climax.)

The interest in sex is completely normal. We, as human beings, were made to be interested in it. To deny our inherent sexuality would be to deny an essential part of what constitutes the human experience.

Sex is, quite possibly, the most wonderful thing that two people can share while on this planet. The merging of two independent entities into one and all that transpires during it is something people have been attempting to capture with words for all of time.

Yet most of the descriptions I’ve heard seem to fall short.

I want to think sex is so fantastic there are not words that can be spoken that can accurately depict the age-old mystery it is.

Sex, I believe, is definitely something unique. Most people, even if they have had bad experiences, would admit that it’s a big deal. If nothing else, sex can inspire extreme feelings in people.

Feelings of passionate love, devotion and joy.

Feelings of all-encompassing guilt, depression and sorrow, too.

Sex is like fire. Contained, people can sit around the blaze and enjoy the warmth it gives off. However, when it’s not contained, it can be one of the most destructive forces found in nature. Uncontrolled, fire can wipe out everything in its path.

Sex in a committed relationship (marriage) has the potential to be everything a person can dream of and more.

However, without the lifelong commitment that marriage entails, sex transforms into another thing entirely. Like an unrestrained fire, sex without that boundary of matrimony becomes a negative force that can obliterate everything good that stands in its way.

I have seen it. The resulting misery from premarital sex has touched many people I know and care about. The broken hearts, depression and guilt that go with giving yourself to someone who is no longer with you is immeasurable.

I am not even going to touch upon unplanned pregnancy and the various sexually transmitted infections that are out there as reasons to be celibate until marriage. That is well-covered territory, and as strange as it may sound to some people, I do not believe those are the best reasons to abstain from sex.

The best reason to abstain from sex is that it is both too beautiful and too fragile to be handled by just anyone.

Like rare orchids and Faberge eggs, sex is precious. Anything that can inspire feelings of such magnitude should be treated with respect — so much respect that only one other person should ever get the chance to experience it freely — that person being someone’s spouse.

I would like to note that I am not so idealistic as to believe that people don’t cheat on their spouses, or that marriage equals conjugal bliss and perfection. I know that it doesn’t. However, marriage (and the love, loyalty and trust that should go with it) is still the best way to ensure the likelihood that all the extremely positive aspects of sex can be achieved.

Lastly, I would like to address the argument of “you need to have sex with someone before marriage so you know you are sexually compatible with each other.”

This is a poor argument. If you really love someone, it’s not going to matter whether or not “the first time” is straight out of Cruel Intentions. Western society is one of pleasure, quick fixes and laziness. People have become unwilling to work at anything. It’s sad but true.

But if working to improve one of the best things two people can share is so “hard” that a person wants to adopt a “let’s try it out, and if things aren’t perfect right off the bat, see ya later!” approach, then they don’t really love the person they are with.

Love wants the best for people, and having sex outside of marriage is not the best for anyone.

Sarah Baldwin is a senior magazine journalism major and an editorial writer for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].