Movies to fill those lonely, empty voids in your lives

Matthew Carroll

Pointless activities are never more prevalent than they are in your college years. For instance, five years from now, you will not be able to stay up late watching movies every night of the week. Most of us will be working too much for too little, leaving insufficient time to experience all of the things that the wonderful world of DVDs has to offer.

In an attempt to save you from this cruel fate — and in a selfish attempt to get hired for the Pop Arts section next semester — I present you with five movies that you must see before you head off to that boring life ahead of you.

Story of Ricky

Move over Orson Welles, this Hong Kong gore-fest is the greatest movie of all time. You may remember a clip from this movie of a guy getting his head smashed, which was featured frequently on “The Daily Show with Craig Kilborn.” Upon viewing this movie, you will be treated to other acts of violence, including, but not limited to: a dog getting kicked in half, the top of someone’s head getting punched off and a meat grinder incident. The only place you can find this gem is on eBay.

Wild Zero

This film is the Japanese answer to classic American zombie movies. It features the Japanese punk band Guitar Wolf, which is enough reason in itself to watch this movie. But if that isn’t enough for you, this movie also has zombies that can talk, give directions and teleport! I would also tell you about the night club owner who wears hot pants and shoots killer beams out of his eyes, but that would be too much coolness for one paragraph to handle. You may also have to go the eBay route for this one.

Battle Royale

A movie about a group of Japanese school kids who are put on an island and forced to kill each other until only one is left standing. It features Chiaki Kuriyama who you might remember as Gogo from Kill Bill Vol. 1. If you find the thought of kids killing each other to be disturbing, you might want to proceed with caution. If you don’t find it disturbing, seek help. This may not come as much of a surprise, but this movie is not sold in the United States.

Midnight Skater / Demon Summer

These two amazing movies were filmed in and around Kent. They are the work of Kent State student Andy Campbell and his brother Luke along with their small production group Speed Freak Productions. Midnight Skater is a horror movie centered around a group of college students who are trying to solve the mystery of the Midnight Skater and his connection to the murders around campus. Oh yeah, it also features zombies, a psychopathic killer, chain mail armor and copious amounts of blood.

Demon Summer is about a book that contains a powerful evil that is unleashed on a small town. It includes demon possessions, a vas deferens joke and, of course, copious amounts of blood. You can purchase these films online from Tempe Video or from the Speed Freak Web site.

Watch. Rinse. Repeat.

Matthew Carroll is a sophomore magazine journalism major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected].