Stop seeking validation



Host: Assata Imani Special Guest: Erykah-Nicole Scruggs

Plot Synopsis: Self-sufficiency leads to prosperity. When you are confident in who you are and what you have to offer, no one needs to validate your existence. Throughout this episode, I reveal my Truth. I elaborate on what has led me to become a self-sufficient woman. Followed by an Exclusive Interview with Erykah-Nicole Scruggs. Erykah is the Education Director of Tri-Sigma, a South Korea Study Abroad student, KSU Dining Services Specialist, and a woman who seeks validation from no one. She too reveals her Truth, her perspective on social media validation, the importance of self-sufficiency, and how she has become so self-sufficient. In hopes of inspiring you all to stop seeking validation. This episode encourages listeners to stop seeking validation from society, family, friends, social media and followers.

When I was younger, I used to seek validation from my family, friends, and partners. I wanted them to accept and approve of me, my actions, and my personality. And when they did not approve of me, I would become discouraged and question myself. I would question my worth. For some reason, I wanted their validation so bad that I would alter and compromise myself to get it. I wouldn’t embrace my conscious, honest, intelligent and optimistic self. I would hide my Truth to make others feel comfortable.

Why did I allow others to validate my existence?

As I began to grow and mature into the woman that I am today, I realized that I do not need validation from anyone but God. Especially in regards to my purpose. No man or woman can define me. No man or woman can shape me. No man or woman can provoke me to alter myself, compromise or hide myself (who I really am). I now embrace the fact that I am not average. I embrace the fact that I am “different” (especially from the perspective of dominant society). I am conscious, I am spiritual. I ground myself in morals and values. I value much more than external glorifications. I value more than the illusions that we are fed with.

I value Truth.

If you do not accept, respect, and understand my Truth-then you are not meant to be in my life. You are not meant to grow with me. At this point I feel like if (who I am) my honesty, optimism, and intelligence intimidates you…I could care less.

 I do what makes me happy, not what makes others happy. Meaning I cater to my well-being, peace of mind, self-care/help, and sanity-before I cater to the opinions and misconceptions of others.

In doing so, of course not everyone may accept me, agree with me, or understand who I am, what I do it, and why I do it. But I do not live for people to understand me. I live to pursue my God-given purpose on this earth, I live to serve God’s plans for my life, I live to set a foundation of success for my sister Elisabella Marie, I live to break generational curses, and I live to embrace my Truth. While doing so, I plan to make an impact on this earth that will last for eternity. An impact that is based on Truth and nothing less.

Ultimately, I do not need/seek validation from anyone but God. Because I do not fear anyone but God. It feels liberating to say this. 

When you seek validation, you create self-inflicted confinement. It’s like you hold your spirit hostage. We were born to be free, loving, and prosperous. Seeking validation from society destroys your inner freedom, corrupts your mind/spirit, and ultimately stunts your individual growth. If you want to prosper in all aspects of your being, you must begin by no longer seeking validation from society. Get in tune with yourself. Discover what makes you happy, what stimulates your mind, what fuels your heart-and live according to that. Once you do so, you will no longer be a slave to the opinions of others. You will prosper.

I love every aspects myself, therefore validation from other is unnecessary. Sometimes it is hard to stay grounded in your self-love. Sometimes you may be tempted to seek validation from others, because that is what you are accustomed to doing.

Every day I grow, every day I improve, every day I work to maintain a sense of self-love. To  never go outside of myself or God for validation.

 EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Erykah-Nicole Scruggs

 Have you always been so confident? So real with yourself and others? Or did you have to grow into the woman that you are today (a woman who seeks validation from no one)?

Why do you think that people seek validation from others?

Has anyone influenced the way that you move? (inspiration/motivation)

What is it that you love about yourself most?

What are some aspects of yourself that are still a work in progress?

What are the pros and cons of not seeking validation?

What is your biggest fear?

What is your biggest goal?

Any advice for listeners who are struggling with the need to be validated from others?


***Stay tuned for Season 2 of Truth coming this Fall 2018!!***