Ask Mel: Securing a yes

Melissa Puppo

Dear Mel,

What is the best way to ask someone out without it being awkward? Or what is the best way to figure out if someone reciprocates the feelings you have for them?

           — Z.D.


Contact Melissa Puppo at [email protected].

Well, first things first. It’s important for me to understand what you mean by “ask someone out.” Are we talking ask out on a date or more along the lines of ask him or her to be boyfriend/girlfriend material?

If we’re talking the latter, then I feel it’s important to understand where you and this person are in your relationship. Do you both talk to each other constantly, hang out, grab a bite to eat or is the relationship still relatively fresh?

If it’s fairly new and you are just now getting to know each other, then I’d wait a bit until you learn more about this person. You never know — you might find out some dirt and realize he or she is still attached to a crazy ex or has a weird obsession with Lionel Richie or some other odd fantasy you don’t feel comfortable with.

Keep hanging out with this person until you can be honest. Then tell them how you feel. Don’t be shy. Don’t beat around the bush. Just explain yourself and share your feelings. You never know — he or she might have felt this way for a while, too.

Long story short, don’t rush into anything because a friendship might be ruined — especially if this guy isn’t looking for a long-term relationship. But when you are ready, do your thing confidently and don’t worry!  

              — XO, Mel