Opinion: The fall scramble

Ryan Sampson

Ryan Sampson

Contact Ryan Sampson at [email protected].

This past week, while listening to the radio, a host was talking with a guest about something called “the fall scramble.”

What, you might ask, is the fall scramble? Well, according to the show, it is a phenomenon that happens in the fall as women begin to feel the seasonal pressures of finding a companion for the winter months and holidays.

During the summer, fun is the main pursuit. There are vacations to be taken and evening plans to be made, and no one is tied to any particular location. But as the leaves change and the air turns brisk, the urge to trek through the cold and snow, to pursue an activity outside of the home after dark, is not something that is willingly undertaken by many.

Women — and I’m going to assume men, as well — begin to take a greater interest in cozy blankets, Netflix and various kinds of takeout: but what are all of those things worth if you have no one to share them with?

Sure, your roommates will suffice to an extent, and those “girls’ nights” are great —until everyone realizes that they can’t go another minute without their significant other and begin slipping out at around 10:30 p.m. They exit under the pretense of getting to bed early, all the while slyly pulling out their phones to reel in the boyfriends who had mistakenly thought they would get the night off.

It makes so much sense. While there are plenty of women who don’t mind getting all dolled up and heading down to the bars on a Friday, or attending the family New Year’s Eve party solo, many wouldn’t mind having the choice to stay in with someone they care for, or the sure-fire date for whatever may come up that weekend.

So, guys, here’s something to look out for, or embrace, when you head downtown this weekend: Halloween is over, there is a chill in air and Christmas party invitations will soon be stamped and sent. Fall is just about over. Up until this point, the hunt has been polite and unhurried, but soon the scramble will begin. The good ones need to be swept up, and the sooner the better: you cannot bring someone you just met to Mass on Christmas Eve.

If women seem more aggressive at the gym, or like they’re unnaturally overdressed for that casual chat over coffee, this might explain why. Desperation is setting in, and the final chance to score a man before winter is fast approaching.

Don’t be fooled by the sweet disposition of the girl by the fire at Panera; behind those bright eyes — with the perfect touch of mascara — is the calculating mind of a huntress. She is plotting and ready to pounce. While I don’t believe this is true of every pretty girl waiting in line at Starbucks, it doesn’t hurt to keep your eyes wide open and stay alert; otherwise, you too may fall prey to the fall scramble.