Couple navigates busy wedding planning

Kate Mallone has a lot to do until her wedding day.

She must plan the décor, decide on a final guest list, choose a location for the ceremony, decide between two wedding dresses and pass her sophomore and junior years in the nursing program.

Planning a wedding while still in college has its obstacles. And while Kate said she knows it’s going to be hard, she also knows that she has a lot of support from her fiancé, family and friends to make it through and succeed with both.

Chapter 1: When Harry Met Sally

The story of Kate Mallone, 20-year-old sophomore nursing major, and her fiancé Sam Drew, 28-year-old senior executive and creative director for Cardamone Panza marketing firm, began like any 21st century romance should.

The two met a little over a year ago on Facebook through an application called “Are YOU Interested?”

“I have always been the type to have an open mind,” Sam said. “When I saw a friend of mine added it, I figured, what the heck. I was using it for a couple of weeks when I came across Kate’s photo and decided to send her a message. I heard back from her a few days later and things just grew from there.”

Kate said the two messaged for about a month.

“He kept trying to convince me to meet him for coffee or something,” she said. “Finally I decided I would. We met and just ended up talking all night. It was so great.”

Sam said one quality that attracted him to Kate was her personality and the depth she showed to him each time they talked.

“I always hungered for someone to challenge me,” he said. “And when she did, it intrigued me even more. My favorite thing about Kate is that she is my best friend. I know it sounds like a cliché, but it’s true. I know that no matter what problems I have, she’ll be there for me.”

Chapter 2: From Here to Eternity

With an eight-year age difference and only a year of dating, Kate knew there would be fights with the family after the two first announced their engagement.

The two had talked about getting married a few times before it became official.

“This September, Sam and I were in Chicago visiting my dad,” Kate said. “He asked my dad permission to marry me. Later my dad told me about it and wanted to know what I thought. Shortly after that, we went to pick out a ring and then we told the rest of the family.”

Terri Mallone, Kate’s mother, said she was shocked when she first heard about the engagement.

“I guess I was sort of expecting it,” she said. “But just not this soon.”

The wedding was originally set for Oct. 3 of next year. But after conversations between the two, the soon-to-be Mr. and Mrs. Drew decided to wait until the following year.

“My dad seemed OK with the engagement,” Kate said. “He knew I could handle it. My mom and sister, though, both think I am too young. My mom wasn’t sure it would last, and my sister wanted me to wait until I was out of college.”

Kelley Mallone, Kate’s younger sister and maid of honor, said she doesn’t think Kate is too young to be engaged; she just wishes she would wait to get married until she is out of school.

“If I were in her position,” she said, “And if I were a hundred percent sure he was the one, I would probably have no problem getting married while in school. I do think the smart thing to do is wait, though.”

Sam said everyone they have talked to about the engagement has been supportive.

“Our families have been great,” he said. “There has been some concern from Kate’s family about her still being in school and the difference of age between us. I understand where they are coming from and respect their concerns. We hope that with time we can show them the love we have for each other so they’ll know that I have nothing but the best intentions for Kate.”

Chapter 3: The Breakup

About two weeks ago, the immense stress of simultaneous classes and wedding planning hit Kate and Sam – in a hard way.

After a weekend together and attending various family events, Sunday night rolled around, and Kate found herself feeling overwhelmed with school.

“We had some miscommunication that weekend,” Kate said. “When I got home Sunday night, I panicked because I had so much to do. I was extremely angry that he didn’t understand how important it was for me to get back early and how important school was. I felt disappointed and hurt.

“I ended up yelling at him and ending the engagement. After I kicked him out, I called my sister, and soon she and my mom came down to be with me. I couldn’t stop crying. I knew I had made a mistake.”

Kate said her family left in the middle of the night, and she was able to finish all the work she had to do. The next day she called Sam and told him she overreacted, and they decided to get back together.

“I think that was our lowest point,” she said. “We decided that it would be best that we wait another year to have the wedding. It was too stressful to try and plan a wedding and go to school at the time. We know it’s going to be a constant struggle, but we just needed to support each other.”

Chapter 4: The Notebook

For a nursing student who is about to start a semester of clinicals on top of classes, planning a wedding with all of that means something has to become priority.

“You always have to put school first,” Kate said. “It’s hard not to get wrapped up in all of the details and fantasies of having a wedding, but I’m sure when I look back at this someday, I’ll be thankful that school was always first. It’s not something I can redo if I mess up.”

Kate’s best friend and bridesmaid, Katy Podojil, knows Kate will be able to handle everything just fine.

“At first I was shocked and didn’t really know how to react,” Katy said about the engagement. “But I am happy for her. Katie should do whatever she is ready for. I just don’t want her to grow up too fast. I think Katie has good time management and will be able to handle school and her relationship.”

Her sister said she thinks the biggest stress Kate will have is from trying to make time for everything in her life: school, family, friends and her fiancé.

“If she becomes unfocused,” Kelley said, “I believe her school work will suffer drastically. If she keeps her mind in the right place though, I think she will be OK.”

Her mother also said she thinks a big obstacle for Kate will be trying to balance everything.

“Just trying to find time for everything will be hard,” she said. “Finding time for her friends, family and herself. I think she was already starting to feel that pressure, so I think it is a good thing they pushed it back. By senior year she should have more under her belt, which should help.”

Sam said he agreed that balancing the two will be a struggle for Kate, but believes it will work out.

“I think that Kate’s biggest struggle is her fear of letting someone down,” he said. “Even though I tell her that school comes first and not to worry about making (the wedding) top priority, she has so much commitment and devotion to this relationship that she sometimes feels as though she has to put school to the side.

“That is the main reason why we decided to push back the date for the wedding. I wanted to let her know that my love for her will never change regardless of how long we wait to get married.”

For some members of the family, waiting until Kate graduates to get married is their ideal choice.

“If it were my decision,” the mother of the bride said, “I would have them wait. But she’ll do whatever she wants to do.”

Chapter 5: The Princess Bride

For an autumn wedding, Kate selected colors like mocha brown, orange and champagne for the decorations. And while the location of the ceremony is still unknown, she knows she wants it to be outdoors somewhere.

“We are having the reception at a really nice restaurant, Melange, which is near Legacy Village,” Kate said. “We have found a few places that would be nice to have the wedding, but none are close enough to the reception location.”

While there are still a lot of unknowns about the wedding, the dress is not one of them. Though she has not selected one yet, Kate knows what she’d like.

“I want my dress to be an a-line gown with a sweetheart neckline,” she said. “I either want lace all over, or nothing at all. There are two dresses that I have had my eye on. One is a very simple, gorgeous dress. The other is a Mon Cheri gown which is a two-piece taffeta dress set with lace and a chapel-length train.”

Kate said she is letting her graphic designer fiancé design the wedding invitations.

“I just want sophisticated and simple designs,” she said. “I recently saw mocha invitations with silver script, which were gorgeous. But I’m giving Sam to design whatever he wants.”

For Sam, communicating about the wedding plans is important to him.

“In our relationship, we try to share as much as we can with each other,” he said. “Even though Kate might already have an opinion of what she wants, she always asks for my input, which is one of the things that I love about her. Neither one of us wants a wedding to be about them, but rather a reflection of who we are as a couple.”

Chapter 6: Ever After

Despite the non-traditional timing of their wedding, Kate is still optimistic and excited about the future.

“Taking time off from school has never been an option,” Kate said. “It’s not something Sam and I will ever consider. Although our relationship is extremely important to both of us, school will always be my top priority. My family would never forgive me putting aside school, and I really don’t think I would forgive myself.”

The two are planning on moving into an apartment together this May. Because Sam currently lives in Chardon and Kate lives here on campus, she said things will get easier when they live together.

“Planning everything will definitely get easier,” she said. “For one, we’ll be finally living together, and he won’t be traveling back and forth from Kent to Chardon. I think we’ll be more settled in our lives together and things won’t be as stressful. Plus, we’ll have the summer to do a lot of planning before school starts up again.”

Sam said he agreed that things would get easier in May.

“I feel that it’s going to be much easier,” Sam said. “It will be less stressful once that happens since both of our lives are so demanding right now. And since I work from home, I can take a break whenever I want to see her and won’t have to worry about having to figure in driving time in my day.”

For the two newly engaged, becoming Mr. and Mrs. Drew will be worth all the stress and obstacles they are facing now.

“Before I met Sam,” Kate said, “I definitely couldn’t have imagined myself planning my wedding while in school. I had even told Sam in the beginning that I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and I wasn’t really interested in anything serious. So this has definitely been a surprise.

“Holding the wedding off until I graduate has definitely been in the back of my mind. My family all feels it is best and sometimes I wonder if it would be, but whatever Sam and I decide, I know it will be perfect when we become Mr. and Mrs. Drew. Even if we have to wait a couple more years, we’ll have the rest of our lives together. There’s no reason to rush things.”

Contact student life reporter Erin Dean at [email protected].