An Evening with Demetri Martin, indeed

Katie Moore

Stand-up comedian Demetri Martin performed in the M.A.C Center last night to a crowd of 2,155 laughing people, resulting in almost $28,000 in ticket sales. Undergraduate Student Government sponsored the event.

Martin held nothing back, making fun of the stage itself to various moments in his life.

Stand-up routine

“I don’t watch sports as much as I used to,” Martin said. “I’d rather watch the mascots fight, like the Colts versus the Bears.”

Martin included the crowd in his jokes over the course of the night as well. At one point, he asked if there were any freshmen and seniors in the crowd, to which the crowd responded respectively.

“Freshmen, you’re cool because the economy will recover by the time you graduate,” Martin said. “Seniors, you’re fucked.”

Martin even mocked the M.A.C Center’s cooling unit for making strange noises.

“The air conditioner is mocking me,” he said. “What an asshole.”

“I don’t usually fly in first class,” he said of his plane ride, “but I usually fart in first class.”

Classic humor

Along with a lot of new stuff in Martin’s routine he also threw in some of his older jokes.

“I’ve got goals,” Martin said. “I want to run a marathon. I have run across the short way, but not the long ways.”

“If you want to dry hump a stranger and get away with it, act like they’re choking”.

“I never went bungee jumping,” Martin said. “The closest I’ve ever been was when I was born.”

Large Pad visual jokes

As the night went on, Martin performed with his “Large Pad,” an easel-stationed notepad he draws on.

“A rabbit made out of candy is better than candy made out of rabbit. Every time.”

“Rollerblades equal uninteresting. A fat guy equals uninteresting. But a fat guy on rollerblades equals interesting.”

“If a man is wearing a fur coat and is not an Eskimo, then he’s a douchebag.”

Martin’s singing jokes

“My favorite flavor of ice cream is cone, cone, cone with a tricky ice cream flavor.”

“You don’t know what you got until its gone, unless it’s STDs.”

Fan base

Some of the members of the audience took being a fan to a whole new level.

Martin invited a female audience member on stage to show off a tattoo of his signature on her forearm.

Danyell Durbin, a junior nursing major at Mount Carmel in Columbus, traveled to meet a friend to watch the show.

“I drove up here for two and a half hours just to see him,” she said. “I even skipped school, but my teachers don’t know that.”

Contact Katie Moore at [email protected].

Man on the Street: What did you think of Demetri Martin?

“I thought it was awesome. He’s probably one of the funniest comedians I ever heard.”

David Walker, a sophomore biochemistry major.

“I thought he did pretty well. I’m not really familiar with his material and I thought his delivery was kind of off, I don’t know why. Other than that I think he did a pretty good job.”

Aaron Schultz, a sophomore zoology major.

“It was fabulous!”

Emily Randolph, a junior psychology major.

“Pretty damn funny.”

Roderic Rogers, from Kent, Ohio.