Their View: Hangover sufferers should see glass as half full

The post-Halloween hangover is a gruesome reality for many of those of-age partygoers. A night filled with masks and booze quietly slips into a morning of bright lights, aching eyes and compromised motor skills. Sometimes a multivitamin, an aspirin and five glasses of water can’t even help. Big-time drinks lead to big-time hellish pain; scientists have proven it.

But not all of us are so weak as to allow our bodies’ organs to suck the precious brain water from our noggins, resulting in a splitting headache that is so difficult to shake. No, some of us stalwart imbibers wake up feeling like a million rubles, ready to take on the world.

I personally don’t get hangovers. I think they waste the day, so I choose to forgo them entirely. Perhaps my organs are more adept at staying hydrated. I don’t question it. I just wake up and laugh for five minutes straight while those around me groan in their migraine tombs.

If you’re not as awesome as me and find yourself in that less-than-pleasant situation of a super hangover, there is a simple tip to keep your head from splitting in two. The key is preventative measures. Drink some water sometime throughout the night and take an ibuprofen before sleep. A simple sip of anything nonalcoholic before passing out can be the difference between a peaceful or catatonic morning.

The secret of avoiding the hangover is different for everyone. Maybe you should eat large quantities of fish steak the morning after. I don’t know. It’s hard to say but probably worth a try.

Stay cognizant and enjoy your day, friends.

– Alexander Marietta

Contact lenses stick to your eyes like Saran Wrap melting on a desert road. A ray of horrid sunshine blasts through the window and zings your brain like Han scorched Greedo. Rush to the bathroom and remember to breathe through your nose. Halloween is done and you’re hungover.

Hangovers come in all shapes and sizes. Some come with splitting headaches, some reintroduce you to last night’s meal, some are a small blip on an otherwise productive Sunday and some are enough cause to skip class on Monday. If you are a drinker in Athens, then you probably have been hungover. One too many appletinis, or eight too many cans of Schlitz, it’s a battle we all fight.

There is a wealth of would-be cures for ol’ Hangover the Horrible, from “scientifically”-backed products of prevention to folk medicine aids. All of them are mediocre. There’s little to do about a hangover other than sleep and drink water. But! There are ways to turn a miserable day of sleeping and whining into a day for the record books.

First and foremost, grow up, stop complaining about feeling crummy and adjust your attitude. This is going to be a righteous day. You need to believe. Second, rally whomever you drank with the night before and form a plan. First suggestion: Go hiking. There are plenty of hills around Athens. Drive out to East State Street and walk into the wilderness. Laugh as your body cries out in protest. Trip your friend. Tie your shirt around your head and have an adventure.

Hiking is but one example. The point is to take charge of the day. Rise above earthly feelings of pain and discomfort. Go for a bike ride. Chain smoke and redecorate.

If you are too much of a wuss, heed this advice: Maybe you should stop drinking.

– Kent Clements

The above column was originally published Nov. 2 by Ohio University’s The Post.