Why wait until marriage? Because it’s awesome

Sarah Caplin

Marshal Staggs is misinformed.

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you went to college. And if you went to college, you understand how sexual pressure is everywhere on campus, through condom ads in the campus newspaper, “Sextoberfest,” or even having the unfortunate experience of overhearing two people having sex in the dorms. Yes, the temptation and influence is everywhere, and yes, sex IS awesome. But that’s no excuse to trade in your “V-card” at the first opportunity.

I feel there is a complete misconception and stigma about saving one’s self for marriage. Many people, like myself, choose to save themselves due to religious reasons. There are, however, plenty of secular reasons why abstinence until marriage is a worthwhile thing to do.

I feel society has completely twisted the meaning and purpose of sex. Sex is the ultimate physical expression of love. I’m not denying that sex between an unmarried couple can be meaningful; yet I believe there is something incredibly beautiful about sharing your body with one person only within the context of marriage.

I won’t put myself up on a pedestal and say that I’ve been a perfect example of purity, because I definitely haven’t been. I’ve made some mistakes in my relationships, but it is through these mistakes I’ve realized how amazing it would be to have sex with my husband without any baggage from previous relationships; his body and touch being all I’ll ever know.

The problem with True Love Waits programs isn’t that they teach teenagers how condoms are ineffective. The problem is they use scare tactics to make sex seem shameful. I believe they would receive more credibility if they owned up to the fact that sex is extremely enjoyable, and no one is exempt from temptation. The increase of teens engaging in oral sex as a compromise is unfortunate because they were probably never taught how to avoid those situations in the first place.

I find phrases like “testing the car before you buy it” to be disgusting and degrading. You cannot “test drive” a human being. True, the first time is definitely nothing like what you might see in the movies. But if you’re married, you will have the rest of your life to experiment with what works.

If you’re willing to leave that person for performing inadequately in the bedroom, then perhaps you never truly loved them in the first place. Real love is never selfish and requires putting your own needs last to honor your partner.

I have not met anyone who regrets waiting until marriage, but I have met plenty of people who regret having sex with the wrong person at the wrong time. Having sex may be “awesome” but keep in mind that instant gratification is just that – instant. Waiting until marriage will ease those pesky thoughts you may have in the back of your mind about whether your partner really loves you, is using you, etc.

If there is any point I would like to emphasize, it’s that chastity is not meant to be a punishment or to restrict anyone’s “fun.” It’s a commitment to yourself and your future spouse and is definitely worth making.

Sarah Caplin is a sophomore English major and guest columnist for the Daily Kent Stater.