Things to do over break

Kristine Gill

We have an entire month away from Kent State coming up, and while that sounds like a real blast, it’s going to get old pretty fast. So I’ve brainstormed a list of things you can do to spice things up over the next five weeks. Some of them are actual activities and some of them are just things you can do to interact with your parents and siblings who have missed your company all semester. Enjoy.

&bull Insist your family lay a red carpet out for your arrival.

&bull Reject all suggestions from your parents and siblings. Tell them you make your own decisions in college and don’t need their help. Arrive at the same decisions they’ve suggested on your own time, and make them seem like your own ideas.

&bull Refuse to eat any food resembling college food. Demand gourmet. Remind your parents that you won’t be able to earn good grades next semester unless you regain your energy over break via fine dining.

&bull Tell everyone that you’re on a budget. Wrap your holiday presents in newspaper. Tell them tuition is killing you, and ask for free handouts.

&bull Remind your mother that you’ll be turning 21 soon and that the world is at your fingertips.

&bull Remind your sibling that you’ll be turning 21 soon, and ask when she’ll be able to hit the bars, too. Sound extremely sympathetic when she grudgingly reminds you she has two more years.

&bull Talk for hours about how great college is or refuse to answer any question about your time away. Twitch and cringe when you hear mention of dorm rooms or black squirrels.

&bull Ask for the keys to the car. Demand control of the radio. Tell your parents you’re too poor to fill up the tank.

&bull Visit with high school friends and brag about your own college experience. Begin telling them hilarious stories about you and your buds, but trail off with something like, “You just had to be there.” Imply your involvement in a plethora of complicated, knee-slapping inside jokes.

&bull Sleep until noon, and stay up until 3 a.m. Shower only when asked.

&bull Demand that your room remain untouched during the coming semester. Scream when your mother tries to dust your dresser and when your father asks to replace a lightbulb. Tell them they’re ruining childhood memories preserved only in your bedroom.

&bull Go to a popular hangout in your hometown. Comment loudly on how different it is now that you’ve been exposed to the college life. Point at every high school student you see and say things like, “There’s another one,” and “Are you serious?”

&bull Agree to meet and “catch up” with the high school gang. Ask things like, “How is school going?” and “What sort of meal plan do you have?” Smile the entire time and fight back yawns. Tell them it was so good seeing them.

&bull Make the shameful phone call to an old boss asking for a few extra hours. Drug yourself before heading back to work. Remind yourself this job is temporary and if nothing else, college has taught you that you don’t want to make submarine sandwiches for the rest of your life.

&bull See the movie “Twilight” and then chug a gallon of bleach and shave your head as punishment. It’s horrible and a waste of money. Go read the books. They’re way better.

&bull Rent the movie “Fargo” and imitate a Minnesota accent for a week straight. Oh yea?

&bull Drink Coke and eat Mentos at the same time. (I was serious about this.)

&bull Visit the house in Cleveland that was used for the movie “A Christmas Story.” Pretend you’re one of the robbers in the scene with Ralphie as the heroic cowboy and enter through the kitchen.

&bull Cross your fingers in hopes that Kristine Gill becomes a member of the 2009 Daily Kent Stater Forum staff so you can read even more of her wise words.

Kristine Gill is a junior newspaper journalism major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact her at [email protected].