Please. No ‘more.’

Adam Griffiths

We can’t say we weren’t warned.

But the electronic “danger, danger, danger” warble came three minutes too late for the world and a lifetime too late for the once princess of pop culture.

I can’t give Britney Spears another chance.

Her performance of her comeback single (used very loosely) “Gimme More” on the Video Music Awards Sunday was nothing short of the final blow of her extensive career suicide.

Simply put, it was like Satan rejected her application for premature death, and she decided to come straight to the VMAs — with slutty dancers and a routine the screamed, “I’ve had two children, made a mess of my life and fired everyone who ever helped make me famous, but damn it, let’s see if I’ve still got it.”

Why, Britney, why?

That has to be the question on every viewer’s mind right now. Why was she drunk or high or both on stage? Why didn’t she just cancel if all she was going to do is walk through the routine? Why couldn’t she get better extensions? Why put a microphone on her when she obviously wasn’t going to even try to lip sync?

No one’s asking why she ran off stage so quickly at the end. I don’t know what you hurl at the stage at a multi-million dollar show in Las Vegas, but I’m sure it hurts and isn’t pretty. Even without projectiles, the rumors about her instant off-stage self-realization and ensuing breakdown abound.

In the words of her ex, who actually took home a statue that night, cry me a river.

It didn’t help that MTV didn’t cut her any slack either. Rihanna, Chris Brown and Alicia Keys all delivered amazing performances, and the ending performance with Timbaland, Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake definitely took the show out on a higher note than it started. MTV’s decision to not mass replay this year’s show might be the only saving grace of the evening.

The Internet was abuzz with comments and reaction almost instantly. In response to Perez Hilton’s entry asking the world what it thought:

“Horror show. Big fat mess.”

“I’m rehearsing for my next gig: ‘Would you like fries with that, y’all?'”

“Thank God for the back-up dancers.”

“You’d think that someone with this much on the line would put in some effort.”

Sadly, none of them are outlandish and exaggerative.

And you didn’t have to look further than the audience that night to get the same message. 50 Cent couldn’t have looked more dumbfounded. You couldn’t tell whether Rihanna was getting into it or just laughing along with the rest of the world. Sarah Silverman was completely justified in her show opening comments.

Britney, your time has come and gone. Stop trying. Go into hiding. Be a good mom. Get your priorities in order.

We’re ready for a revolution, and it’s time for someone else to take the helm. Hilary Duff, please?

For a full recap of the VMAs, check out ALL editor Bob Taylor’s column tomorrow on page B2.

Adam Griffiths is a sophomore information design major and a columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected].