It’s happening. They’re getting stronger. Their numbers are growing. They’re gaining an edge. They usually pass by beneath veils of pastel-colored beanies and the all-too-welcome distraction of that sexy cucumber melon lip gloss. It’s a nice touch, but that’s beside the point. As the gender gap between women and men in college steadily increases, the men here are an endangered species. And it’s a trend that human biology shows is sure to continue.

The reason for the gender gap at Kent State and other college campuses goes far beyond the girls are smarter than boys myth. Girls smarter than boys? Ha. While us guys take another minute to laugh at that statement, here’s something for you girls to think about: What are you going to wear tomorrow?

All right guys, we’ve lost ’em.

According to Michael Gurian, author of “Boys and Girls Learn Differently,” boys are receiving 70 percent of Ds and Fs, while girls receive 60 percent of the As. This is entirely misleading as today’s classroom plays to the strengths of the female population by using collaborative work groups and social interaction to educate. Ever notice how excited your female professor gets when she tells the class to get into small groups and then zigzags around her creation with a satisfied smile on her face?

“Talking really is like a drug for women,” says Dr. Louann Brizendine, a psychiatrist and author of “The Female Brain” made available by an article posted on Yahoo!News.

“The process triggers a flood of brain chemicals which gives the ladies a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts when they get a high.”

So, let’s get this straight, while girls are sitting there in class, chatting it up, raising their hands and interacting with their professors, they’re getting high? Figures. Junkies.

In her book, “Shafting Boys,” Ilana Mercer says, “Boys thrive in the more disciplined, structured learning environment.” She goes on to point out that boys are biologically predisposed to competition, but in the progressive school, cooperative experiences and group think are preferred to individual achievement. This is unfortunate for guys.

Men are driven by competition; we don’t get naturally high off conversation and group think. Perhaps this is why in today’s educational system, “Boys are over 50 percent more likely than girls to repeat grades in elementary school, one-third more likely to drop out of high school, and twice as likely to be identified with a learning disability,”according to Richard Whitmire, writer for The New Republic and author of “Boy Trouble.”

Is it adapt or die? In “The feminization of education,” author Melanie Phillips believes that “rather than celebrating male characteristics, society tells boys at every turn that its values have turned female, and that if boys want any place in it they must do so too.”

Really? Does this mean we’re to become “Grey’s Anatomy” fans? Ha. No. Never. Nuh-uh. Not happening. Forget it.

Instead, I urge you guys to stock up on Red Bull and make sure your taurine levels are on point. Become that coffee connoisseur you always knew you could be. If you can, see a doctor or professional athlete about scoring some performance enhancing drugs. Just don’t let ’em beat us.

Male students beware! There is very little we can do, except persevere. Don’t become another statistic.

Ryan Szymczak is a junior English major and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater. Contact him at [email protected].