COLUMN: Maid of honor? No, slave of honor

Amanda Stanley

Headaches and craziness ensue when planning a wedding.

My sister is getting married in June. I am the maid of honor.

Let me start by saying that I couldn’t be happier for her. Even before she got engaged we would talk about what we would like our weddings to be like. We would suggest friends for the wedding party, describe our ideal wedding gown and even discuss possible wedding songs. Planning a wedding is nothing like that.

Every detail that you could possibly think of has to be thought about over and over again. You have to make sure every item coordinates with the chosen colors; in this case, pink and black. The napkins, table linens, bridesmaids’ dresses, groom’s tuxedo, flowers and every other detail must match pink and black. I am tired of pink and black. If I have to look at any more pink and black, I may vomit. And the wedding is still five months away.

Now, since I have been appointed maid of honor, it is my duty to assist the bride’s every need. If my sister wants me to thumb through 57 bridal magazines, I do it. If she needs me to travel hundreds of miles to a craft store that carries the centerpiece of her choice, I do it. If she needs me to smack her fiance upside the head when he seems less than interested in all of the planning, I do it.

As I have learned, there is so much more to being a maid of honor than simply throwing the bachelorette party and being responsible for the bride’s drunken antics with a male stripper.

Also as the maid of honor you must defend the bride when she morphs into her alter ego: Bridezilla. Her entire existence is completely devoted to her wedding day. She becomes dedicated to ensuring that her wedding day is in fact the fairy tale she has been envisioning since age 9, sure she may throw a temper tantrum, or 20. Sure some of her crazy ideas, such as the helicopter fly-over with a banner saying “A toast to the happy couple,” may be hard to implement, but as the maid of honor you must welcome, no, encourage, these ideas and welcome them with a smile. I’m not trying to knock down the importance of being the maid of honor, because it probably is just slightly more important than being the groom.

On the wedding day you’ll adjust a massive 72-foot train on the bride’s wedding gown. You won’t have any room in your tiny purse because it will be filled with makeup for touch-ups for the bride. Plus, you’ll probably be sleep deprived and semi-scarred for life after all of the emotional (and maybe physical) beatings you have taken from the bride. And perhaps you’ll deliver a fantastic toast that has already been viewed and edited by the bride for anything embarrassing.

So before Bridezilla prevents me from finishing this column, let us raise our glasses and toast the happy couple.

Amanda Stanley is a junior magazine major and columnist for the Daily Kent Stater.

Contact her at [email protected].